All the self help books that tell us how to get love ‘right’ also give advice on how to make love ‘right’. Why is it we still can’t get our relationships right with all that help from the books on love and relationships?
No matter how well intended these books are, they have limitations. Most are assumptions about love and relationships with no real clinical evidence.
There are some studies available which offer extensive factors on what constitute good relationships. They can predict with 90% plus accuracy what factors will lead to love and happiness or separation, and divorce.
Is it true that men and women speak different love languages? Are men from Mars and women from Venus where relationships are concerned? It may seem that way sometimes but a stable relationship is made by people who understand that love is something that you do; it is not something you get ‘right.’ It’s a mystery to be lived, not a problem to be solved.
We are all human and that means we are not perfect. We have our limitations and we always will. Problems are inherent in all relationships. Some can be solved, some can’t. Happiness is a route that will happen. Here are some that will help guide you through the harder times in a relationship.
Our beliefs about love and loving frequently hamper us in our pursuit to get love. We learned about loving from our families but the problem is no two families are alike so how you want to be loved and how you love your partner may not be what he or she needs in order to feel love. Ask your significant other what he or she needs to feel loved and then you can be sure you are showing them love the way they need to be loved.
Language itself, causes problems. No two people understand a statement the same way even though words are supposed to have set and concise meanings. Ask the question, “Can you explain to me, so I can understand what you mean.” That question by itself can keep many misunderstandings from happening.
How to get love isn’t really the problme. How to keep love after you get it is the real problem. Communication is the key to many apsects of a relationship so communicate what you need and listen when your partner tells you what they need. Then give the the love they want the way they want it. That’s how to get love and keep it.
