How to fall in love again can be tough but falling in love is easy the very first time around. We don’t have to do anything at all. It does seem as if it happens all by itself. Unfortunately, staying that way is frequently easier said than done. Marriage brings along more “real life” than we ever expected and there may be times when we realize the fact that we have fallen out of love almost as quickly as we fell in.
When this happens, there are two options you can choose. You can give up and walk away or you can make a decision to fall back in love again. There is absolutely no other choice. You may think that you can stick it out in a loveless marriage, however it rarely, if ever, works like that. I tried it and it worked for approximately six months until I thought I would go crazy if something didn’t happen. We didn’t even fight, there wasn’t enough feeling for that, we simply existed.
You have five steps that you must take if you are really committed to making the marriage work and falling back deeply in love with your spouse. You will need to choose, remember, change your focus, let go, and make a change.
Step one may appear to be the easiest, but it’s not. You must choose what you will do. Take it seriously and be committed to the decision, though it won’t be easy. Assuming that you choose to fall back in love, you can move on to step two.
The person that you have little or no love left for on one occasion owned your entire heart. What went wrong with that love? Look back all the way to the beginning and remember exactly what it was that made you fall in love to start with. There has to be some quality about this individual who shares your house. Find them, write them down, then remember them that way. Writing it down helps to cement it into your mind.
If this is work out , you will need to let go of your obstinate pride and frustration. You may not like to, feeling that you are entitled to be upset with him or her, but if you can’t you may as well leave. When your spouse does something that makes you angry, just let it go. If you truly can’t do that, then walk away for a while to regain your composure and figure out how to forgive and continue trying.
The energy that you’ve been spending concentrating on what you don’t like with this stranger you married is now spent only on that written down list of positive attributes you found. If you only found one thing, try harder or just make up your mind to be done with it. The negative will destroy you and your marriage. No good will come of it.
Now comes the true test of your commitment. You must begin to act as though you already love them again. In AA, they tell you to “fake it til you make it” or “act as if” and it applies here. Leave a love note for your mate. They might fall over in shock, but do it anyway. If your physical relationship has suffered or disappeared, renew it. Make a special dinner. Do the things that you used to do.
Falling back in love with your spouse isn’t always easy, but it is worth it. The statistics on divorce today are astonishing and alarming, particularly if there are actually children born in the marriage. You can be something besides another statistic. Do it differently than everyone else. Work through and take pleasure in the lifelong relationship you were so dedicated to at your wedding ceremony. So fall in love again and enjoy it this time.
