How to fall in love is a question a lot of people ask. Young people ask it more than older people because older people know that you will know when you are in love with someone. People over 50 are more inclined to ask what love is rather than how to fall in love.
So what is love? Good question. People have been trying to define what love is for thousands of years, without much success. Scientists can tell you what chemical changes take place in the body when you are “in love” but they can’t tell you what love is.
Can I tell you what love is? Nope, nor can anyone else tell you what love is, at least if they are being honest. We call love an emotion but it’s certainly more than just an emotion. For some it’s an all consuming desire to be with someone, to take care of them, to protect them and keep them from harm.
For others it’s not the big rush of desire that is love but the deep feeling of satisfaction they get from being with the person they love. There are so many ways to show love that even the great writers get into the act. “How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.”
For some there are many ways to love and for others there is but one way. I don’t know who’s right but I certainly know when I’m in love or when I love someone.
There’s another problem with the word love. You can be “In Love” which is different than loving someone. I love some of my relatives but I’m not in love with them. So there are different types of love.
So what is love? Your love for your children is a different love than the love you have for your spouse or significant other. Even the love you have for your friends is different than your love for your kids or spouse.
The first time you fall in love, it’s easy. It seems to happen all by itself. You weren’t looking for it, love just happened. Maybe it even surprised you when it did happen. How is it that one day you can like a person and the next day you love them so much it hurts? What happened over night?
How or when you fell in love really doesn’t matter, after you do fall in love the problem is staying that way. The glow wears off slowly but surely. According to scientists and social scientists the chemicals that gave you the high when you fell in love wear off in somewhere between 5 and 7 years.
When they wear off you want that feeling back but if things aren’t good between you and your spouse it’s very hard to get the feelings of love back. It takes a lot of work and most don’t want to work at it. It’s so much easier to fall in love with someone else so you can have the high and the rush you feel when you are in love. Much easier than falling in love again with your mate.
We still have much to learn about love. Don’t worry to much about how to fall in love. When it happens to you, you will know it. It may even surprise you. I’m not talking about falling in lust or puppy love, I’m talking about a deep feeling for someone.
Many confuse lust or puppy love with the real thing. It’s not. Most people fall in lust quite a few times and thing they are in love, However when they finally do fall into a “real love” they are amazed at the difference in the feelings. You will be too so just let it happen and all will work out for you.
